All the right words but not necessarily in the right order

My friend who-shall-be-known-as Daisy keeps sending me words for an app called Words With Friends. Now that I have a Kindle Wotsit I’m sitting target for apps. Words With Friends is more or less Scrabble, and as I suspected I am just as hopeless at the teensy-weensy electronic version as I used to be at the large cardboard-and-plastic version. ‘You’re good with words,’ people say, ‘so you’ll be good at Scrabble’. Alas, I’m impatient, and hopeless at strategy; I can’t resist a long, showy-offy, low-scoring word when a three-letter triple-word-thingummyjig would have been wiser.

When I was at Junior School teachers used to say ‘You’re tall – we’ll put you in for the 100 yards on Sports Day’. Since when does being tall mean you can run without banging your knees together and falling over your feet? Since when does being tall mean you give a rat’s patootie whether you stagger across some arbitrary white line first or last?

I was hoping Daisy might enlighten me as to another game app-thingy called Dark Echo which I foolishly downloaded in order to practice app-downloading, and because it was free.  How I wish I hadn’t. I just don’t understand. I mean, you’re in the dark, right? And there’s these little white clickety footsteps, right? And they clatter along, scarily, like a pair of foolish high-heels in a midnight underpass, giving off these little lines, which presumably represent echoes, only visible. And that’s supposed to help you find your way out, if the monsters don’t get you first. I haven’t met a monster yet. If you click on the little white feet it sends out a whole starburst of little lines, which seems to equate with noise, although it’s no noisier than the little white clickety feet themselves, and it is this hypothetical, visual noise that may attract a monster.  I think.

I did find my way out, once, but I don’t know how. It was an accident. And when I was out it was just as dark as when I was in, so what’s the point of being out? My little white footsteps go backwards and forwards, creepily retracing their steps, marking time at invisible walls, backing off, retracing the steps before the steps before, and I don’t know why. Is there some proper way to play Dark Echo? Why are there no instructions?

You can tell I’m tired, probably. Perforce, I’ve been doing housework all day – with breaks for this new electronic Scrabble-thingy – since it’s the first of my two Open Houses on Saturday. To get the house looking anything like presentable I shall be doing housework all day tomorrow, too. It’s done my hip in. You know you’re getting old when you start to realise you have hips – and knees – at all – because they hurt. The cats have temporarily lost the raggle-taggle saggy old beds they used to be able to flop into all over the house, and dirt-boxes have been strictly rationed. Net curtains are festooned everywhere to dry. Tomorrow they’ll have to go back up. I shall have to remember not to whip the bedroom curtains open to greet the dawn, in case I amaze the down-hill neighbours.

‘I am playing all the right notes but not necessarily in the right order.’ Eric Morecambe 1926 – 1984, English comedian.

 

 

8 thoughts on “All the right words but not necessarily in the right order

    1. Ah, then there is a guide! So other people need help too, not just me. Actually, it was interesting. I sat there for hours, it got dark, I forgot to turn the lights on or close the curtains. It was free on Kindle Fire but Daisy says it is not free on her device. Rosie

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  1. I always see something in your posts I can relate to so clearly, Rosie! Here it’s the being tall/ rubbish at sports/ found them pointless anyway. It was all the worse as my dad was a really keen sportsman and desperately wanted me to show some interest/talent!

    Also relate to the knees/hips. Lower back too. Constantly wet Somerset doesn’t help, nor does age.

    Good luck with open house days. Take care of you, though x

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    1. It’s one of those Separated at Birth things, isn’t it? Lots of “stuff” going on at once here – house sale/move, trying to find dementia care home for Mum, one sister’s Husband dying, other sister’s daughter no longer able to do home dialysis. So we’re all having to support/work on several different fronts. All chickens coming home to roost at once! Rosie

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      1. Goodness, yes, that is quite a burden for one family. I truly hope that gradually the difficulties are resolved, or ways found to handle them. Finding the home for your mum will remove a huge weight from your shoulders. I speak from experience there. I hope you’ll be as lucky as we were and find somewhere friendly and welcoming where she can be safe. Sending love, Jan

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